At one point in your life you will end up in the same house with your loved one. Or at least, the question will be raised, and it is up to you to discuss it and see how the two of you will be able to handle a relationship that involves co-habitation. Moving in with each other can be a cause of great joy, but great stress and trouble as well. When two people live together, there are always reasons for arguments and quarrels, and you need to be aware of how you will handle them before calling the movers. The best thing to do is to sit down and discuss at least five of the important questions that you will require answered before you move in with someone.
1. How will we deal with the finances?
Are both of you employed? Where is your income coming from? When living together, you will have to learn to share bills and taxes, and even split money for grocery. Balance in outcome will mean less squabbles about money, though you don’t have to get too petty about it – sometimes people just want to spend a few more bucks on a piece of clothing, and you should not get mad about it.
2. How will we split the chores?
Just because your partner is now with you doesn’t mean that you finally have someone to do the chores for you. It means that you have someone to share the chores with. You can make a list of all the chores and see who will do the laundry, who will do the vacuuming, who will do the window cleaning, and so on. Everybody should have at least some responsibilities, and most importantly – everybody should take care of their own messes.
3. Will I be able to have me-time?
When you move in together with someone, you will notice that a certain amount of personal time will be taken away from you. Most of it, mainly. But everybody needs time for him- or herself, and neither your partner should occupy every second of your life, nor you his / hers. If your partner is too needy to deal with that, then maybe you should postpone moving in together for a while.
4. Will both our names be on the lease?
If you are renting a new flat or house, this is a very important question. Having just one person’s name automatically means that the other one will not be welcomed there if there is a huge fight between the two of you. But this is only a worst case scenario – typically this should not matter, as long as you are able to have a peaceful co-existence. The key to this is mutual understanding and aid.
5. Where is this going?
This is pretty much the make it or break it question. It is the most important one you can ask in a relationship and it could very well decide the fate of the relationship the moment you both get your answers. Don’t be in a hurry to answer it. It requires emotional investment, but also practical thinking. Where do you see yourself after a year? How about five? Do you envision yourself with your loved one still? Then moving in together is only the first step to many others. But for every doubt you have you should probably postpone moving in together at least for a while, until you get your answers straight.
Answer these questions and you will know whether you two are compatible or ready to start co-habituating. And only then can you start making the moving checklist and checking for local moving van services.